Control

So I got this phone call the other night from someone that has been ignoring me for the past two and a half months after I had one of our friends told him I didn't want to talk to him anymore. Then he called last night wanting to talk to me and tell me why he pushed me away and never talked to me. Though since I was working 12 hours today and had to get up at 4am when he called at 11 was not so fun. He left me a few messages...which were all broken up and didn't really make sense.

I am so ... lost. I realized today as I sat pulling weed after weed for 4 hours, that I really liked him when we were actually talking and speaking to each other. Since he has been ostracising me, there were more that a few times when I really needed someone to talk to; he was the one that I was able to talk to without hesitation, and feel comfortable with it, and he would completely understand and help me through it. And now I don't have anyone, well I do, but still....I miss what we used to have, just our friendship. Why? Where did all that go in such a short time?

I wish I could make it all better.
Though I don't have control over it.