long, and I hope that it makes some sense to you all. But please forgive me of any english error, whether it be spelling or what not, I just had to type this all and get it out of my mind so that I could focus on the things that I have to do, such as homework and things. Please, this is my renewed testimony, and I hope it brings you some joy and light. For that is what I seek.LoveCandace Bradbury
Thursday, February 12, 2009
So, Tuesday I asked my old roommate Jenni Owens if she would take me to the Alltel phone store in Idaho Falls to talk to a techy there to see what was wrong with my phone and why it wouldn’t take a charge. So I get to her house around 4pm and we make our way to Idaho Falls and the mall. We got off the freeway and start on the road that leads to the mall on this huge long straight path to the mall. We were talking about the things in our life that has happened this semester and, it had snowed earlier that day so she was taking it kind of slow because the wind was blowing and there was some snow on the ground that had started to drift. As we were going I remember seeing one other car in the other lane and then it happened; we hit an icy patch on the road… he car started to fish tail only a little, but when it started to escalated a bit more, and speed up, she and I both started to have our hearts race…it all happened so fast that all I can remember is that her car started fishtailing really bad, the oncoming car in the other lane that we just barely missed, and then I see the snow bank on the right side of the road getting closer to me…my head hitting the passenger side window..snow going up in the air, and the feeling of weightlessness as we started to roll in her car and flip, but then, by some, other power, we stopped. The chaos of everything stopped and as I came back into the present from a flash back of my life and the things I have done, those not done that I wanted to accomplish so much, I was jolted back into the present and while I was checking to see if I was still moving, and realizing that we were still up right, I looked over at Jenni to see her checking to see if I was okay and seeing in her eyes that same feeling that I am sure must have been radiating from my own. We both went through a mental check list to see if anything was injured on our bodies, and after seeing that the other was okay, we both looked out the windshield to see this car pull over and this guy on his phone getting out of the car. We both assumed that he was on the phone with the cops; but as we were sitting there oblivious to anything outside of the car we both asked what we should do, should we call the cops or what to do at all, when an answer to our prayers came immediately in the form of an overtly caring gentleman and his wife; as this man came towards us, both Jenni and I opened our doors to let him know that we were okay. And as doing so we got out of the car, to look and assess the damage to her car, and myself further. I get out and the first thing that I see is her tire on the passenger side had been blown, the tube in the tire must’ve gone flat because the tire was sitting in the rim, where it used to be. Then I look at the back of her car, that was sitting in the ice embankment of snow on the side of the road….i see the rear passenger tire in this hole, and looking further in the snow, I saw the imprint of the car it left as it had started to roll…. But we were standing upright in the car…we hadn’t flipped or rolled. As I was looking down the road to our destination, I saw all these cars slowing down as they could just barely see the wreckage site of our carness. Then as I was looking back toward the car, my eyes passed over this telephone pole that was standing 6 feet away from the back end of Jenni’s car. And it hit me….if we had even had the inertia and momentum to go six more feet, ….and my mind couldn’t finish the thought. I couldn’t think of that…at how close I, We had been to…. Jenni saying something brought my attention back to the man that was on his phone talking to the police…They would be sending someone on their way in just a few short minutes… but we all know how cops are, most often times, they are never there when you really need them, or when you do they will be a little longer than was stated. SO as we were waiting for the police to come to the scene of our little off-roading incident….this truck with this really amazingly nice father and his two sons pull over in from of us across the two lane highway from us, and he came over toward us, bidding that he had a tow strap and that he would be puling us out. So as we were waiting for him to be able to flip around to be able to do that, all these thoughts were going through my mind, and brought to the drop back of my mind and started playing these images across this sheet, like a movie, but I was brought back to reality when the threat of tears started stinging my eyes, and then I turn to look at jenni as she said that she was going to start crying from all the kindness from these blatant strangers that were offering up their time and help to us. As she said this, a truck of Mexicans stopped off on the side of the road off to the right of us and asked if we needed any help being pulled out of the ditch, but we said that another guy had offered his help. SO many blessings! CANDACE!! Open your eyes and see the hand of the Lord in your life more and more!! As the guy with the first truck had flipped around and was able to hook up the tow strap to his truck and her car truck thingy, he started pulling us out. With traffic pilling up on either side of the highway, waiting on us to be out….I looked over at Jenni and forgot all that I was thinking, She needed me to get her through this. She had just been driving when all this chaos had started. She was so reluctant to back her jimmy up into the driveway that just happened to be about a 100 yards away…she was scared. So when we got it backed into this driveway, the man that pulled us out, parked his truck off the road behind her car in the driveway to help us put the spare tire on so we could make it the rest of the way to Idaho Falls and get the tire and wheel checked out. As we just go the jack out of her car, the police showed up. And the gentleman that first called the police left after we both thanked them profusely. So the male cop and the man that towed us out of the snow embankment put her spare tire on, since no one was hurt, and no other cars were involved. Standing out in the weather, I was freezing, shaking from the cold and from the adrenaline of the just recent accident we had happened upon. It was so comforting to know that both these men that were helping us were both LDS and I would venture to assume priesthood holders. Yet another blessing. Other than the most obvious, that had we both not had Heavenly Father intervene and send us our Guardian Angels, we would not have been standing watching these men help put our spare tire back onto this car so that we could continue on our way to our first and foremost destination. It was even more of a testimony to me that God does live, care, and watch out for his children no matter how insignificant they may be feeling. And when you are feeling like you are just the needle in the haystack, He will show unto you that you really do matter to Him, whether it be through some accident where He saved you from dying, or to some other little experience. After these fine men finished with the spare tire, Jenni and I set out for Idaho Falls hoping and praying that a tire place would be open. Also, as we were making our way at a snail’s pace, and in 4-wheel drive towards I.F., she let me know that one of her friends just “happened” to be on his way to Idaho Falls as we were almost there and he would be more than willing to help us out in any way that we may need. As we were also making our way to the tire shop, thoughts kept coming to me, that I should be mad that this all happened to me, and that I should question God and why do bad things always happen to me, but then, an overwhelmingly warm comfortable feeling overpowered that darker, sadder feeling, and these thoughts entered into my mind, that I don’t have to question God and His reasoning for letting this happen to me in my life, and at the time that it did. I knew and KNOW that it happened for a reason, and I won’t be the one to question His reasoning. I don’t believe in things “just happening”, everything happens for a reason and I don’t know that reason until I am older and further down the road in my life, or I won’t ever know until He reveals them unto me, and I am just happy with that answer. I was asking myself, over, and over, and over, and over, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO LEARN FROM THIS? What is he trying to tell me, what do I need to grow in. What lesson is He trying to teach me? And by thinking these thoughts, I felt so much more clam spiritually. And I was able to focus on Jenni because she was the one driving and help her to focus on driving and not ‘breaking down as she was driving, to keep her stable. She and I both, really wanted to cry more than a few times, but we held it together; even as we made it to Les Schwab and had a guy look at her car as we were waiting for her friend to meet us up there, and eventually drive us home. I was sitting in her car, as we were driving to the tire place, and thought after thought bombarded and invaded my mind, one after another, causing commotion in my thinking processes and ability to want to speak other than when spoken to. I could feel satan working on me so HARD, trying to get me to deny all those wonderful blessings that I had just witnessed and felt, and experienced. I don’t know why, but I know that it wasn’t my or Jenni’s time to die. I know now even more that we both have a higher work here that we have not fulfilled that God needs us to attend to and complete before it is our time. He will look out for us ALWAYS!! And He will see us through all that He will need us for in this life, to prepare the way for His son’s second coming to the people of this dispensation. I also know and was thinking as we were on our way back to Rexburg with a spare tire on Jenni’s car, and her friend Ryan driving because neither of us were in any shape to drive, that I am not ready to die. If I had died, I don’t think that I would be ready as much as I would have wanted to be. There are still some things in my life that I haven’t really gotten right and straightened out, but now I know even more that they can and I am and have been given another chance, what I would like to call, A WAKE UP CALL to come unto Christ and participate in the wonderful blessings of His Gospel and Atonement that has been given to us more graciously. Also that life is more precious to me now more than ever; this whole experience has made me stronger and more willing to change, and not take advantage of those blessings that I already have the privilege of receiving from Him.
Now that it has been two days since the time and scene of the accident, everything since then has seem to all be one big blurb of my life. It feels like it has all been one continuous day. I have found myself trying to distinguish between the start and end of one day and the next. I don’t know what this is supposed to mean or what I am supposed to learn from it, but I am more than ever willing and ready to be taught. I want to know what He has in store for me to do; what calling have I been given that I have yet to fulfill and be used as one of His instruments to bring more souls unto Him, so that He, I, and those souls may rejoice in the reuniting of His lost sheep to His flock. I have reflected back on past things that I have asked of Him, whether it be in my prayers or silent pleadings of my heart throughout the days, I have seen many of these things answered and just…played out on the movie screen in the back drop of my mind. I honestly don’t know what I am supposed to do, and I am scared. BUT I know now EVEN more, that if I keep my head up, eyes set on the goal of life with God, trusting in Him in everything and having faith in Him that I will be led to be shaped into that person who He intended for me to become. I want to do all that He wants me to do. I am ready and willing to give up of myself to Him, so that I can reach out to those that need Him, and by them needing Him, I will give of them my light and lead them back to Him.
As for life and the things going on in my family right now, I don’t know everything that is going to happen with my sister, but I know that wherever I go, and whatever Christ has me do, she will be fine; she will have someone take care of her, IF she seeks Him out diligently and ardently. That is it; she will be fine, if I keep doing what I should be doing, letting others see my light, and love for my God, and being an example of Christ, everything will work out for the best and the way that God sees is the best. For He knows and sees all.
Seek to know his will and have His will be yours. For by doing this it will make things in your life go so much easier. Instead of asking him for things that you would like to happen, tell Him that you are ready to take whatever He has in store for you and embrace it with all of your being. And go forward in life, with hope, charity, love, and faith in Christ that He will always be there for you whenever you need Him; that you are ready and willing to face the world and satan and stand strong against those that are trying to bring you down into misery with them. DON’T GIVE IN!! You are so much stronger than that Candace, you can do anything that you set your mind to, with your heart set on God. Anything is possible if you just believe.